Personal Time
by JustCallMeObsessed
Summary: One conversation. That's all it took for the last 15 years to come crashing down around Sebastian. One conversation that made him book a flight to New York and all because of him. Kurt. He'd screwed up their relationship in Dalton and he'd been punishing himself for it ever since. He needed to mend that bridge. He and Kurt were meant to be together, he knew that now. Kurtbastian.
1. At Least Tomorrow

_So hey there followers and friends! _

_I want to say a massive thank you to each one of you. If you're reading this that means you've been notified of a new story update which means you follow me and I can't even begin to tell you how much that means to me. _

_It sounds soppy and sad, but whatever. I really appreciate you sticking with me and if I could hug every single one of you and buy you a cup of coffee, I would. But as I can't do that, have another story! :)_

_So, this story is a little different then any of my other stories. Namely because this is a** Kurtbastian Fic**. Not a **Klaine** one. Blaine is involved in the story, yes. But not romantically. He and Kurt are just friends._

_Now before any of you come to a conclusion on whether you're going to read this or not, remember that my Sebastian isn't Glee's Sebastian. Mines a nice Sebastian who has a heart of gold, even if it is misguided and hard at showing it. _

_If you decide to give this story a shot then Thank you so much! If not, I'll see you **next Klaine** story! I'm not going to stop writing** Klaine**, never! But I always said I'd write a **Kurtbastian** Fic and I was ready for a change._

_Thank you _

_- Less Than Three -_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee_

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_One conversation. That's all it took for the last 15 years to come crashing down around Sebastian. One conversation that made him book a flight to New York and all because of him. Kurt. He'd screwed up their friendship in Dalton and he'd been punishing himself for it ever since. Now he needed to fix it. He at least needed to try. Kurt was his forever, he knew that now. Kurtbastian._

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**Personal Time: At Least Tomorrow.**

* * *

_- Tuesday 21st January 2016 -_

Kurt Hummel ran an agency. It wasn't just any agency, it was now THE agency. Nearly every celebrity or up-and-comer had an agent and most of those agents were from the Rise to Fame agency.

He had no idea how he'd ended up running the company before he turned 28, but that's what he was doing now. Rachel and Santana were all involved with agents from his agency, even some high class A-Lister's. It wasn't where he thought he'd be when he was nearly thirty, but he never thought he'd run an agency.

He wasn't even sure how he'd made it this far, but he was in charge of over 300 agents. If each agent had around 3-6 clients, that added up to a large amount of paperwork and a lot of big names he was in charge of. Every available job, audition or live show went through his desk. It was a lot of work, but he enjoyed it.

Kurt mostly dealt with paper work but was known to work with the occasional client. It was very rare for Kurt to have his own client, but the Father of some spoilt teenage brat had insisted that Kurt be his daughters agent. For the sake of an easy life he'd agreed to a meeting. The meeting had lasted less than 15 minutes.

Those 15 minutes had been the most stressful 15 minutes of his entire life. The girl was spoilt and talentless, her Father a big shot nobody. He'd told them he was sorry, but he couldn't be her agent and all hell had broken loose. There had been threats of prison, law suits and lawyers. It was all a waste though, Kurt knew they had no case.

That didn't stop it being stressful and Starbucks and Times Square was always his cure. Kurt was sitting at the red tables in the centre of Times Square. His Caramel Macchiatto sat atop the table as he crossed his legs and looked around at the lights and the people.

This had to be his favourite place in the city. Sitting in the centre of Times Square and simply looking. You could always find him here after a stressful day of agents and paperwork. He'd be here. Sat here taking in the city, the people, the lights. It always allowed him to relax.

Yes he could relax at home, fortunately he had a place to himself after forcing the girls to find their own, he hadn't meant LA or London, but there you go. It was different here. He was at peace and able to relax, but he wasn't alone. And sometimes loneliness got to him more than stress did.

Turning the vibrating phone off in his pocket, he smiled at the sky and was content to sit here until the wind was too cold, or he got too hungry or it got too dark. Whichever came first, he didn't really care.

"Well, well, well" came a voice he recognised. A voice he recognised but would chose time and time again to forget. "Hummel, made it to New York at last I see" the man scoffed from behind, snickering as he gracefully took the seat opposite him.

Tall, dark brown hair, a patented smirk and looked like a meerkat. Sebastian Smythe. Of course. He'd never be able to forget that man if he tried. No matter where he was, Sebastian would haunt him forever.

"Smythe" Kurt said evenly. Inwardly sighing and mentally adding another reason to his list 'high school asshole turns up.' "And to what do I owe the displeasure?" He asked trying to avoid his gaze without seeming rude.

Sebastian nodded as if impressed by his remark, well that would be a first. Nobody ever impressed Sebastian, especially not someone like Kurt Hummel. "Well Hummel, I saw your ridiculously high hair from across town and thought I'd say hi."

Kurt nodded, of course. That's exactly what had happened he thought with a subtle roll of his eyes. Looking at the man he once knew, he couldn't push back his hatred and resentment, but he had to wonder what he was really doing here. How did Sebastian even know he was here?

Now that he thought about it, what was Sebastian doing here? Last time he'd spoken to Blaine he'd said he was filming with a guy called Smythe, man that had been a bad day. "What are you even doing here Sebastian? Shouldn't you be shooting that TV Show in LA with Blaine" he asked after swallowing his mouthful.

Blaine was one of the first up-and-comers he'd worked with. He'd been his agent before he'd worked his way up the ladder. Blaine was a New Yorker born and bread and he was determined to make it to Hollywood. They'd become quite close since he'd met him, they even ended up living together for a short while before Blaine moved to LA for a TV show.

That reminded him, he needed to send Blaine that audition tape that came by his desk yesterday and he needed to confirm his ticket for the premiere of Santana's movie. Man he still had so much to do he thought sighing, wondering if he'd remember them tomorrow.

"Aren't you supposed to be filming with Blaine in LA right now?" He continued before realising he shouldn't know that. Sebastian wasn't a part of his label, it just so happened that they had Blaine in common. Sebastian was starring at him weirdly and once again Kurt sighed. Sebastian was going to think he was keeping tabs on him. Great.

Through narrowed eyes Sebastian seemed to think through his reply. He had no idea what he was going to say, but he could see he changed his mind last minute."Filming with Blaine?" Sebastian asked in his usual cocky tone, his eyebrows raised. "2 questions" he continued sitting forward in his seat and Kurt braced himself.

"1. How do you know I'm an actor who's been filming in LA. "And 2. How do you know Blaine Anderson" he asked raising an eyebrow, "and not the way I know Blaine Anderson I hoped" he winked making Kurt want to vomit. Too much information. Way too much information considering their history.

Same old Sebastian he thought, studying him for a moment. Did he deserve an answer? Did he really deserve his polite conversation? Sebastian was looking at him, impatiently waiting for an answer Kurt was unsure he wanted to give. Was Sebastian worthy of an answer? After everything this man had put him through at Dalton, did he deserve a second chance?

Maybe he didn't and maybe most people wouldn't have given him anything. But nearly 10 years had past since their graduation. 13 years since the moment that had changed Kurt's view on the world, 10 years since Sebastian had been a dick to him.

People change. When he was 18 he wanted the world to know his name, not anymore. 10 years later and he'll do anything he can to keep himself out of the public eye. No one will ever know Kurt Hummel's name, that's for sure. And 10 years ago, he wanted everyone to know his name. He'd changed. So maybe Sebastian had too.

Kurt nodded more or less to himself as he thought through the things in his head. Now that he thought about it, he couldn't understand the whole fame thing anymore. Rachel and Santana wanted to be famous. Even Blaine. They all wanted people to know their names and talk about them daily.

Maybe once upon a time he thought he wanted the same thing, but having random people know everything about your life? Have cameras follow you around 24/7. Who would want that? He most definitely didn't. If his friends did then that was their choice and he'd support them 110%. That life just wasn't for him. He was more than happy to wear an expensive suit and work behind the scenes of everyone else's success.

That's how he'd found himself interning at this little, small name agency in New York way back when. He had no idea how, 8 years later he was running the biggest agency in New York, but. Those had been the cards he'd been dealt. However you looked at it, he chose to put it down to hard work and perseverance, and maybe a little luck, maybe.

But at least this way he got all the perks of being famous, expensive hotel suites, any premiere ticket he wanted. Free concert tickets and celebrity party invites. He got all of that without being stalked by cameras and hounded by fan mail. It was the perfect set up.

Sebastian's deep sigh brought him back to the now, staring at him in confusion. Right, Kurt had almost forgotten he was even here. Shaking his head Kurt quickly apologised before remembering they were in the midst of a conversation and he had a decision to make.

"Oh, sorry. Umm, do you know the Rise to Fame Agency?" He asked staring at his coffee cup. For some reason he couldn't fathom, he actually cared what Sebastian thought about his current career choice. Even after everything. What was wrong with him?

Sebastian narrowed his eyes but answered the question anyway. "Well yeah" he answered as if it was a stupid question, Kurt had to smile at that. "I mean who doesn't, everyone wants them to be their agent. Anyone who's anyone has an agent from there" he said bitterly.

"Bad experience?" He asked treading lightly, he can't recall ever having the name 'Sebastian Smythe' cross his desk. If it had, he would sure of hell remembered. But maybe this was way back when, back when he himself was just an agent.

Sebastian made a sound of resentment in his throat and it made him laugh, on the inside of course, he wasn't that mean. "You could call it that" Sebastian scoffed. "This loser left his card at one of my shows and I called and I call-" he started, but then remembered who he was talking too.

Coughing, Sebastian wiped at his forehead before subtly trying to move on from the subject. Clearly he was still worried about how people viewed him, still trying to come across hard and careless. Emotionless and rock solid as always, and that's not a good thing and what was worse? That he still cared.

"Yeah, what about them he asked" Sebastian grumbled, playing with his cup and avoiding his gaze at all costs. Kurt would like to say his attitude surprised him, but it never did. He was being more forward than he was used too, but he was still hiding behind that wall. This boy had definitely changed since High school, Kurt just wasn't sure how to define that change yet.

But he could worry about that later. Right now he had to tell Sebastian that the agency he felt so bitter about, was actually now being run by him. Well, maybe he didn't need to know that yet, "I work there" he answered simply. Hoping that would be it.

However, with Sebastian he should of known it would take a lot more than hope. "You're an agent?" He asked with so much disbelief in his tone it was actually a little offensive and very, very insulting.

"Not exactly" he answered both honestly and bitterly as he avoided Sebastian's gaze. He didn't want to tell him, especially if he was so bitter towards the company. But he wasn't going to lie to him either. What would Sebastian think of him then?

And you still care he cried internally watching the man who was still playing with his cup and not looking at him. Sebastian may have stumbled upon him accidentally today, but what if it had something to do with chance. He didn't really believe in fate and luck and stuff like that, he knows you've got to make your own luck in this town.

But a 15 year old Kurt Hummel had been heartbroken the day Sebastian had pushed him away and left him without a second glance. They might not have been anything, but there was something between them and a vulnerable 15 year old Kurt believed that one day they'd get their chance.

Their chance at what, he could only imagine his 15 year old self had wanted with someone as rude and arrogant as Sebastian. But still, even now.

Now his 27 year old self wasn't even sure he wanted a chance with Sebastian, not at anything. Most definitely not the romantic chance he wanted as a kid, but he was willing to try and be polite if Sebastian was willing. He owed it to himself, if not to Sebastian.

Sebastian slammed his hands on the red table and stared at him, his eyes full of judgment and his mouth set in annoyance. "Seriously Hummel? Are you gonna get to the point or am I gonna have to push it out of you?" He asked, not exactly nastily, but it wasn't nice. "Still as ridiculous and slow as ever" he complained, sitting back in his seat with a groan.

That one comment took him back to a time thirteen years earlier. Back to that day in Warbler Hall. That day when the two of them had been locked in an embrace, alone. Kurt had thought, no he'd known something was going to happen between them.

They'd been skirting around for weeks and he knew Sebastian wanted it too and now they had their chance. He'd been so happy in that single moment, everything had seemed so perfect. But when the football team came in looking for Sebastian, everything changed.

Sebastian pushed him away and started throwing gay sneers at him, making jibes and throwing insults. The football team had laughed and Sebastian with them, all before walking out without a second glance in his direction. Everything had changed after that. Everything.

Staring down at his hands Kurt laughed, he should've known. Sebastian would never deserve a second chance, never. It wasn't fate or luck or anything nice that had allowed Sebastian to stumble upon his favourite place that was unfortunate timing and the universe trying to get back at him for something.

He was a fool to think he'd changed, to give him a second chance. Even with something as small as a polite, civil conversation. Sebastian would never be worth it. Even if there had always been a part of him that wanted to give Sebastian a second chance, would give him a hundred chances if that's what it took. Sebastian wouldn't be worthy of any of them.

Sebastian was 'that boy' for Kurt. Always had been. You know when you talk to your friends and you gossip about boys. Sebastian had been that boy for Kurt, always had been, even after he'd left him in Warbler's hall. Sebastian was that one person that he'd hoped, one day, the two would get their chance.

That one person he knew, whether it worked out or not, that they would at least try. Even 13 years later, he'd still hoped that one day, they'd get their chance. Still hoped that one day they'd try. Not consciously of course, he was trying to move on and get over him, but deep down, hidden below everything else was still what he'd felt for that boy 13 years earlier.

There was something between the two of them that he couldn't understand, some connection that he couldn't shake, that he didn't want to shake. It meant something to him, whether he wanted it to or not, it always would. Sebastian would always mean everything to him, no matter what happened between them.

And he hated it because Sebastian wasn't worth it. Not once had he proved to Kurt that he was worth his love, hell even his time. Looking at the man a younger version of himself had once loved, he had to laugh. What had his 15 year old self been thinking?

It seemed to take Sebastian a few moment to realise what he'd said and to catch up to what he'd done. "Oh god, Kurt I didn't mean that. Honest I didn't!"

Kurt had to laugh, at least the boy had a conscious he thought glaring at Sebastian as he picked up his coffee. "It was nice seeing you again Sebastian" he responded cooly, standing "have a nice life."

Without a second glance at the boy that had once upon a time meant more to him than most, he walked away. Standing as tall as he possibly could, and trying to ignore the words Sebastian was calling after him. Sebastian had ruined the last few years of his teens. He wasn't going to allow him to ruin the last few years of his twenties too.

Throwing his satchel over his shoulder and rearranging it's strap he took a deep breath and headed back home. Back to his apartment where he was already planning on running a bath, drinking a whole bottle of wine before probably drunk dialling Rachel.

How perfect he thought with an irritated sigh as he turned onto 5th avenue and headed towards Central Park. At least tomorrow this would all just be a hazy memory and he could go on pretending.

* * *

"Kurt!" Sebastian called, "Kurt! Come on Hummel! I didn't mean it" he called, "honest I didn't mean it!" Sighing, he fell back into his seat realising that Kurt wasn't going to turn around.

Running his hand through his hair, Sebastian just wanted to hit something. He knew he'd ruin this, he knew it. He'd told himself over and over that coming to find Kurt wouldn't be easy. He told himself time and time again that he would ruin it and that's exactly what he'd done.

As soon as he'd heard Blaine talk about Kurt Hummel during the filming of the series last week, he just knew he had to do something and he had to do something now.

Back at Dalton, after the incident he'd never apologised or tried to fix it. All he did was ignore and torture him. Kurt avoided his path at all costs and Sebastian couldn't blame him. He'd treated Kurt so badly, it was no surprise the man hated him now, he deserved it.

He had tried, once. After graduation, after they were done with that school he'd searched for Kurt. He'd wanted to mend the bridge that he'd torn down because he was too worried about his image and his ego. He'd searched for Kurt, to try and fix the only relationship, friendship or otherwise that he really cared about. He looked, only to find he'd already left.

Kurt had been so desperate to get out of that school, he'd left his own graduation early. And it was all his fault. He'd been the reason Kurt had left and he'd never forgive himself for that. He never had the opportunity to apologise, and he had no one to blame for that but himself.

As soon as he'd found out where Kurt was hiding from Blaine, after a bottle of tequila and a night on the town, he knew he had to take this opportunity. He'd spoken to the directors and told them he needed to take some personal time. It hadn't gone down well, but he was the co-star of the show and he needed this time.

It had taken a lot of sway, but they'd agreed. Probably only because they knew he'd leave anyway, permission be dammed. But they'd allowed him a month, that was it. 4 weeks. 28 days.

Fortunately he had a place in the city, otherwise once he'd stepped of the plane at JFK he would've been screwed. He hadn't thought about how he'd find Kurt, didn't even know where to start. But be honest, he hadn't thought anything through. He'd just thought about Kurt.

He'd been in New York since Thursday and he was just about giving up hopes of finding Kurt by himself. He was one day away from ringing Blaine and asking him for all the information he had on the always mysterious Kurt Hummel. Including his home address.

Then walking around Times Square, Starbucks in hand wondering where on earth the annoying and highly frustrating Kurt Hummel was hiding. He'd caught sight of a familiar head of hair heading towards the red tables.

It took him a few moments of watching this well dressed man before he knew it was his Kurt Hummel. The perfectly coiffed hair, the perfectly styled and fitted suit. That ridiculously perfect smile, even from across all these people, he could see it. He knew.

It had taken him another few moments to pull together the courage to actually walk the few stops across the square. Eventually though, he pushed his nerves and vulnerability deep, deep down and allowed his cockiness and his typical asshole exterior to resurface.

He knew he'd make a fool of himself, he'd expected too, he couldn't just be nice to people. Especially people he cared about as much as Kurt Hummel. So as he sat watching Kurt walk away, his perfect ass swaying too and throw in those suit pants that fit oh-so-well, he had no one to blame but himself.

Dropping his head into his hands he sighed, that was his one shot. His one chance to prove to Kurt that he'd changed, that he was worth it. And he'd failed. He'd screwed up big time.

Standing, he threw his cup in the bin and followed in Kurt's direction. He wasn't stalking him, hadn't resulted to that, not yet anyway. He too happened to have to walk down 5th and by the park to make it back to his apartment.

He had no idea when he'd see Kurt again, but at least he knew he could see him again. He knew where Kurt worked now, not that he knew what he did, but at least he had a place to start; Rise to Fame Agency on 48th and 6th.

At least tomorrow was another day.

* * *

_- Wednesday 22nd January 2016 -_

It was half past midnight and Kurt was lying on his sofa, phone in one hand, empty wine glass in the other. Staring blankly at the ceiling as he contented to ramble drunken nonsense into the speaker of his iPhone.

"Rachel he was an asshole to me back at Dalton" he told her answering machine. She hadn't answered and he'g guessed there probably was a time difference in London, but he wasn't really that sure. "I mean, I don't understand what he's doing here" he grumbled.

Looking around his apartment in silence, he saw his cat, Imogene fast asleep on the arm chair but that only made hime mad. "Why he is so intent on ruining my life?" He shouted, looking to his Labrador, McKenzie who woke up at his sudden shout. "Wasn't he content with just breaking my heart" he mumbled more to himself, than to the phone.

"That smarky meerkat made me feel like he wanted me for weeks. All the sneaking around we did," he grumbled his hand flailing in a way he'd appreciate his glass being empty in the morning. "He made me fall for him Rachel, and what did he do" he demanded although he'd never get a reply.

Sitting up in his seat, he put his glass down with a lot of force before a drunk Kurt let his head fall into his hands. "I loved him Rachel" he breathed ever so quietly, almost as if it was his secret. "Then he turned on me" he sighed, a lone tear falling down his cheek, "I'd just gotten over that. I just started to trust guys again and, there he is."

"Sitting opposite me all pretty and perfect, even after all these years. He's still as beautiful and as perfect as he was back then. Even more perfect if that's humanly possible" he laughed, blearily looking at the clock on the wall. "Oh blimey, is that the time" he asked no one in particular.

"Rachel, Rachel" he slurred, staring at the picture of the two of them that hung on his back wall. "Whatever it takes, do not let me get taken under his spell again, you understand?"

"No matter what, no matter what" he unconsciously repeated. "No matter what my 15 year old said to you, I can't. And I'm holding you personally responsible for anything that happens between Sebastian, because I can't.."

Kurt nodded, drunkenly replayed the words in his head, it made sense. "Personally. Responsible" he insinuated each word with a deep breath. "Everything" he sighed before hanging up and dropping his iPhone to the table.

"That man changed everything" Kurt said to himself as he started stumbling his way up the stairs. "How can that one, stupid meerkat looking man change everything? Even after all these years, huh Immy? How?" He asked his cat who was wasn't even listening.

"Rude" he muttered, tripping on the top step and hitting his head against the wall. Usually it would make Kurt curse, but all it did was make a drunk Kurt laugh as he crawled the remaining distance to his bedroom. "Who put that step there" he wondered allowed as he crawled, "probably stupid Sebastian Smythe that's who" he growled.

"Do anything to trip me up" he said pushing his door too. "Sebastian Smythe, that's such a stupid name" he said offhand, stripping off his undershirt and kicking off his trousers. Climbing into bed, Kurt made himself comfortable underneath the covers as he lay there, staring at the ceiling and simply waited.

A few moments later McKenzie and Imogene climbed the stairs like they did every night after they realised he wouldn't be returning. The two animals settled themselves at the end of bed and Kurt finally felt like he could relax. "Night girlies" he supplied around a yawn, allowing the darkness of sleep to take him under.

* * *

As the clock blinked 2:18am Sebastian was lying in bed, staring at an old picture in a wooden frame. It had been taken 13 years ago and neither of the boys in the image had been paying any attention to their surroundings. Two blazer clad boys stood, wrapped in an embrace, smiling at each other as they stood on the National's stage after their first big win.

That moment had been the defining moment for him, having Kurt in his arms, so happy, so genuine. That was when he realised, he was so snarky and nasty to Kurt Hummel, because he was in love with Kurt Hummel.

If only he hadn't been a complete and utter douche bag a few months later and thrown away everything they'd been working towards. It had taken some convincing to get Kurt to meet him in the Hall, he'd always had trust issues. Yet that day, Kurt had trusted him.

Sebastian had felt like the luckiest and happiest boy in the world that day. They'd finally decided that they were going to take a step forward, and they were going to do it together. But of course, no, Sebastian wasn't allowed to be happy.

The football team had come looking for him and it had taken less than a point of a second for him to realise what they were seeing and what he had to do. He'd pushed Kurt away, so harshly Sebastian knew it would bruise, that only made things worse.

That hadn't even been it. He probably could've apologised and made up for that, but no. Sebastian Smythe had to take it one step further. He'd then thrown harsh insults and words his way before, falsely of course, laughing at the look on his face.

The look on Kurt's face had brought tears to his eyes, he just had to leave. Turning his back on Kurt and walking out without a second thought. That was probably one of the hardest moments in his life. That entire situation being the only regret he had.

Smiling at the picture, he hated that no matter where he went, no matter how he tried to get away from Kurt, he would always find his way back in. Somehow, Hummel always found a way. And what was worse was that he hoped Hummel would never stop finding a way back into his life. His life without Kurt seemed pointless.

He wasn't really sure what it meant, but he liked to think it meant something good. Kurt has always meant more to him than anybody he's been with and Sebastian knew he always would. And that bugged him, it always had. Who was he? Who was Kurt Hummel and what the hell made him so god damn special?!

Taking a deep breathe, he allowed himself to smile at the picture for one more minute. One more minute of thinking about what they could've had. Smiling, he could never hate or resent Kurt. No matter Kurt ever said or did, he could never hate him.

A small part of him couldn't help but wonder if maybe Kurt's thought process was similar. Sebastian had to laugh at that, of course it wasn't similar. Kurt had more common sense then that. Why would he have any feelings towards someone like him? Someone that would treat him like dirt?

As soon as that minute was up, Sebastian put the frame back on his bedside table and curled up in bed.

Tomorrow he had to start working on his attitude and his behaviour. Kurt Hummel deserved the world and if he was going to be the one to give it to him, he needed to get his act together, and fast.


	2. Something'

_Here it is, Chapter 2! :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee!_

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**Personal Time: 'Something.'**

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_- Wednesday 22nd January 2018 7:15am -_

"Rach, can you please not shout" Kurt said horsely into his iPhone as he walked along 5th avenue. Sun glasses on and to-go cup in hand. To say he had a headache would've been an understatement. He felt like he was still drunk and he'd only had one bottle! And a half, of another two..

Rachel laughed and it was like a lion was roaring right in his ear, "sorry Kurt. But this is what you get when you drink an entire of bottle of wine in an hour and another one after that" she might as well have shouted, causing him to wince. She was doing this to torte him wasn't she? There was no other explanation.

"Look Kurt, you now I love you, but asking me to keep you and Sebastian apart is an impossible task in itself" she laughed referring to his very drunk and embarrassing voicemail. Kurt rolled his eyes, what the hell was she on about. It wouldn't be hard at all.

Walking along 5th avenue was lovely when you didn't have a headache, the lights and the sound of the city. When you had a hangover however, it was like having a rock band inside your head. "Now asking me to keep you and Sebastian apart while I'm in London" she laughed in disbelief.

Kurt rolled his eyes, crossing 42nd street, already knowing what was coming. "I don't know, what's a word that means a gazillion times impossible" she asked. She had no idea what she was talking about. She wasn't even here!

"Rachel, you're not helping" he grumbled rubbing at his brow. "You're supposed to help me, not laugh at my pain and what are you even on about? Why would it be impossible? It's not impossible" he grumbled, so clearly on the defensive he knew Rachel wouldn't miss it.

He wanted to be mad at her, but he never could. This girl was his everything, had been since he spent that one year at McKinley. Rachel, Santana and himself, they'd just kind of clicked and they'd been a trio ever since. Even if there acting jobs took them all over the world.

"Could you be any more defensive?" she responded, clear amusement in her tone. "Look Kurt, I have 5 minutes until my next shoot, so I really need to go" she said apologetically. "But I'll ring you as soon as I'm done. And try and stay off the wine tonight" she joked although she was the only one laughing.

Kurt sighed, how had he been so stupid as to have drunk dialled Rachel last night. What was worse, it wasn't even just a phone call. It was a message, a piece of blackmail she would keep in the reserves for the rest of their lives. "I'll try Rach" he tried to joke, it didn't work.

Rachel sighed, talking to someone on the other end, "good. Now Kurt, just remember that no matter what you want to think, Sebastian is a part of your life. He's your first love, even if you tell yourself he isn't, he's always going to mean something to you."

Kurt rolled his eyes, his best friend was ridiculous and no help what so ever. She really didn't know anything. "Roll your eyes at me all you want Kurt, you know I'm right. Look, I love you Kurt but I have to go. I'll talk to you later, alright?" She pleaded, clearly trying to get him in her good books again.

Stood outside his building Kurt sighed, "okay, whatever traitor. Good luck with your shoot, I'll talk to you later" he grumbled, wondering why today was so bright.

"Bye Kurt, love you" she called one more time before hanging up. Kurt grumbled his annoyance as he shoved his phone in his pocket and checked his watch, 30 minutes early! What the hell?

Rolling his eyes, Kurt sipped at his coffee and headed inside regardless of the time. Half an hour early or not, it would be much better inside than outside. Noise control, heat control and light control, all perfect for those suffering with a hang over.

Soon enough he was on the 89th floor, greeting the receptionist who was always early, regardless of how early you were. He had to wonder what time she actually got here. "You're early today Mr Hummel" Hayley greeted with a smile. "Rough night?" She asked with a laugh taking in his eyewear.

"Something like that" he replied, laughing hoarsely and gesturing to his glasses. "These offices are perfect for recovering" he winked, leaving his blushing receptionist to carry on with whatever she was working on.

Making his way to his office at the right side of the building, he tried to focus on work and the things he had to do. Walking down the halls at this time of morning, it was strange, they were the only two here. This was probably the quietest the offices would be until at least half ten tonight. He'd probably be one of the lasts ones if he can't get that stupid meerkat out of his head.

Unlocking the door to the office he sighed, dropping his bags on his sofa and moving towards the Mac at his desk. Sipping at his coffee he flicked through the fresh pile of paper work that had been left on his desk last night.

His two canaries chirped awake in their cage, whistling a tune that always made him feel at ease, even if he was hungover. "Morning my beauties" he cooed, opening the blinds only slightly as to not give him more of a headache.

Kurt took his seat as soon as the computer booted up. 15 new emails popped up, one from Blaine, 2 from Santana and several more from randomers seeking new agents. "I wonder what Santana's after, 2 in less than an hour" he pondered swallowing two pain killers, "that's unusual."

Skimming through his emails, he picked up some of the important words, but there was nothing major happening. Just an update on her life, her job and confirming premiere tickets. He was happy for her, she's been through more in some ways then he had and she deserved the world. They all did he smiled typing out his reply.

Sighing, Kurt turned to his memo pad and jotted down a list of the things he needed today. The majority of the things on the list were work related, just a few weren't. And that was only because he wrote down that he had to get that audition tape to Blaine as soon as possible.

Remembering it made him think of his unfortunate run in with Sebastian yesterday. Which then led to him thinking about how much he hated that snarky meerkat. Which led to him jotting down 'don't think about snarky meerkat or throw yourself out the window.'

He was half tempted to chuck himself out the window. He knew he was being very over dramatic, but god why did Sebastian have to come back into his life?! He was just getting over all of the emotional shit Sebastian put him through, now he was back and bringing back all of his previous feelings with him. How was that fair?

How did Sebastian have the right to just waltz back into his life and open the doors he'd tried his hardest to bolt shut. How was it possible? "That annoying, sneaky meerkat" he growled, squeezing a stress ball he kept in his desk as he read through an email, a list of new possible clients, "asshole's trying to ruin me."

"Why and how is a meerkat ruining your life?" His colleague and closest friend at the office asked, walking in and putting his feet up in his desk, like he did every morning. "You're usually so nice" Julian remarked with a sneer, "what asshole meerkat" he repeated with quotation marks "is trying to ruin you?"

Kurt shook his head but didn't look away from the screen, "shut up Julian. It's none of your business" he said half-heartedly. "What do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, just like every morning as his tall, brunette, god-like colleague fiddled with his paperwork.

Julian picked up papers from his desk and started flicking through them, humming absently. Sitting back in his chair, Kurt sighed squeezing the ball has hard as he possibly could. "Julian" he breathed wishing his friend would stop, pinching his nose his headache was suddenly raring.

"Okay" Julian said chucking the paper work down, setting his feet on the floor and crossing his arms, clearly getting to the point. "Walking into your office I noticed a few things" he stated and Kurt sighed already knowing where this was going.

Julian had always been one for paying attention and he always seemed to pick up on any change in him. It was ever so frustrating yet kind of nice at the same time. So hiding his smile, he prepared himself for whatever talk his best friend was going to give.

Nodding, Julian put his finger to his chin in a thoughtful gesture. "There's sunglasses on your desk" he pointed "and it's not even bright out" he continued and Kurt picked up the smallest hint of judgement. "That's a bottle of water and an empty packet of painkillers in your bin" he said thoughtfully, looking around his office.

"I also detect the faintest smell of alcohol" he sniffed, "probably wine" he nodded to himself as if Kurt wasn't even here.

Kurt looked to his friend and couldn't help by narrow his eyes at him in judgement. "How the hell can you know that? And why do you pay that much attention to my desk?" He asked, not evening attempting to hide his annoyance.

"Rough night" Julian asked, his words and facial expressions expressed heavy implications. "You get lucky" he winked, sticking his tongue in his cheek and making very rude body movements.

Letting his head fall against the back of his chair, Kurt sighed. Right now, the last thing he needed to deal with was Julian. It wan't helping his headache, hangover whatever you want to call it. "Julian" he started, thinking of something to get him on his way.

"Nah, nah nah Kurt. Don't give me that 'Julian' shit" he laughed reaching for his bottle of water and helping himself. "What happened to you last night? I've never seen you like this" he leered, but even Julian couldn't hide the concern in his tone.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he tried to think of the options he had. "And I've never walked in on you complaining about any one called 'meerkat.' Or anyone ruining your life for that matter, so" he continued, concern bubbling over and it made Kurt feel guilty. It was only because he cared.

Fighting with Julian would be a lost cause because he really didn't have the energy, so the truth it was. "I bumped into an old friend from Dalton yesterday" he grumbled. "Brought up old memories that's all" he shrugged, hoping he wouldn't ask questions.

Julian nodded his understanding, but Kurt was a fool if he thought he was going to stop there. He couldn't help but notice the similarities between Julian and Sebastian as he narrowed his eyes. "A guy from your past, or?" He asked and if Kurt hand't just come to the realisation he must like snarky people, he probably wouldn't have just glared at him.

Kurt looked from Julian back to his computer. He'd said Dalton hadn't he, that clearly means someone from his past. Julian rolled his eyes in exasperation and elaborated. "I mean a special someone?" He asked carefully, being careful not to push him too far, Kurt appreciated the gesture but he might as well have just shoved him off a cliff.

"Ugh" Kurt growled, dropping his head into his hands. "Once upon a time he was, something" he admitted half heartidley. They weren't ever together, but he did love him. They'd never kissed or held hands, but they were, something. He loved him, that made them something, but they weren't together. Never together.

Julian nodded, "something. Okay. So this Meerkat guy, who was 'something' to you once, showed up in your life yesterday. And the reunion ended with you drinking an entire bottle of wine and suffering with a hangover this morning. Correct?"

Kurt nodded laughing a little at Julian's words. It sounded so very dramatic, even for him and especially as he drank 2 bottles, but Julian didn't need to know that. Throwing his stress ball at the wall and catching it, he smiled a little. "Correct" he agreed, Sebastian had the power to do this to him, even after 10 years. It was ludicrous.

"Okay" Julian replied slowly, narrowing his eyes as he watched him carefully. "Do I need to kick his ass" he asked after a moment of heavy silence, "or?"

That made Kurt laugh, genuinely and not at himself, "thanks Jules. I appreciate the offer, but I think I'll take a rain check on that" he smiled, feeling the best he had all morning.

Julian nodded, standing with a smirk. "Not a problem K" he grinned patting him on the shoulder. "Just give me the word and I'll beat this sorry meerkat's ass" he winked. "Anyway, I have auditions to book! Can't leave Lawrence to fend for herself now can I" he laughed, closing the door behind him.

Kurt shook his head, laughing at his ridiculous, yet good-hearted best friend. Taking a sip of his coffee, he was glad to know he had friends here, if worse comes to worse, Julian would stand by his side and that made him feel a little better.

Turning back to his computer, he couldn't help but smile. With good friends at his side, he was sure he'd be able to get through anything. Even the annoying ass that was Sebastian Smythe.

* * *

Sebastian had been standing outside of the Rise to Fame agency for the last hour. He wanted to go in and ask for Kurt Hummel. It was a task so simple, but something was stopping him. Something, but he didn't know what that something was.

It was Kurt Hummel for Christ sake, just Kurt Hummel. He was nothing special, just another human being, just another self-involved ass. Why was he getting so worked over this? Why did he even care? Why wasn't he like any of the other guys in his life.

He knew why.

Kurt would fight with him until the end, would never allow him to back down. They could snipe at each other for hours and then leave smiling. It felt comfortable with Kurt, it felt right. Kurt wasn't just another self-involved ass. He wasn't just another person, he was special. So very special. Everything about Kurt was special and that was why he could never just leave.

Even if he knew why he felt this way about Kurt, none of it made sense! Kurt was just Kurt! So why did he effect him so much! Sebastian never wanted to feel this way about anybody, that's why for 10 years he hadn't given Kurt Hummel another thought. Then Blaine freaking Anderson had to say the words that would bring all of those feelings back. Crashing down on him like a falling building.

Dragging his hands down his face, Sebastian just needed a minute to breath and pull himself together. Taking a seat on one of the empty benches he allowed himself some time. Some time to just think about what he was doing here, what he wanted to say. But most importantly he wanted to find out why.

He wanted to think rationally and figure out if actually going in would make the situation worse. Instead however, he found himself thinking back to a moment a very long time ago. It wasn't a waste though, it at least answered one of the questions he wanted answered; Why?

**_-!X!-_**

_- Dalton Academy. December 18th 2003 -_

Sebastian was sat at the piano bench waiting for him. He had no idea if he was going to turn up, had no idea if he'd pay any attention to the letter he'd left in his locker. All he could do was hope.

He had no idea what it was about this boy that had him wanting to put himself on the line, no idea what so ever. But he kind of liked it. He liked the idea that Kurt was the only one that made him feel this way. He might not believe in soul mates and shit like that, but it made whatever he had with Kurt, it made it special.

Their big nationals win had been two weeks ago and they were about to break up for Christmas. Sebastian knew if he didn't do it now, he'd loose his courage over the holidays and come back and pretended he hadn't felt anything.

Usually that would suit a 15 year old Sebastian Smythe just fine, relationships were a waste of time and too much hassle. Except, not Kurt. Anything to do with Kurt would be worth the hassle, he'd be worth anything and everything.

He had felt something for tall, lean, pretty Kurt Hummel. He had. And for the first time in his 15 years of life, he wanted to do something about it. He wanted to tell him, because he wanted this. He couldn't explain it, wouldn't even know where to start. But he and Kurt were meant to be something, and he wanted to give it a shot.

Looking from his watch to the neatly wrapped box in his hand, Sebastian let out a deep breath. Kurt was fifteen minutes late and that was so unlike him. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath and let the possibility sink in. He wasn't coming was he?

Sebastian set the box down on top of the piano and took a breath before getting ready to leave. He'd tried, he'd tried for the first time in his life, and Kurt hadn't shown up. He had hoped and he'd prayed, but he couldn't blame Kurt. Sebastian had a reputation at this school, why would someone as pure as Kurt be interested in someone with a past as dark as his?

Then there came a knock on the door and Sebastian froze in his seat. He'd hoped that Kurt would turn up, but if he was actually here, what was he supposed to do!? The door opened slowly, revealing Kurt in his blazer, sleeves pushed to the elbows and his tie slightly as cue. "Hello" Kurt asked nervously as he entered the room slowly and Sebastian's breath got caught in his throat. "Oh, Sebastian hi" Kurt greeted with that perfect smile.

"Hey Kurt" he greeted, his voice breaking embarrassingly slow and his heart suddenly beating twice as fast. So fast he was actually a little frightened. He'd never felt this way before. Kurt came into the room, his hair still perfectly styled even if his uniform had taken a hit after his last winter exam.

Kurt smiled back, so beautifully, "sorry for interrupting" he apologised, starting to back out of the room. "I thought I was supposed to meet someone here but maybe I got the wrong room" he smiled, pulling a note out of his pocket as he turned to leave.

Sebastian almost didn't stop him, he had one moment to let him leave or to ask him stay. And for the first time in his life, he was glad he made the effort to make him stay. "You got the right room" he supplied, smiling nervously even though his voice broke again. Why was it doing that?

Kurt stopped, hesitating at the door "I got, the right, room" Kurt asked nervously, narrowing his eyes at him in confusion. It was sad, but Sebastian could understand his hesitation. The two of them had been spending more time together as of late, he'd been going out of his way to bump into Kurt in the hallways and at lunch, but he'd never shown any interest.

He might have joked about it, but most of the time the two of them were together, they traded insults not compliments. It worked for them, it was just how they were. But he could understand if Kurt had never picked up on any of the hint's he'd been dropping.

"What? I don't" Kurt wondered aloud, looking around the room to make sure nothing was going to jump out at him or something. It made Sebastian sad. "I got this note.. Was that, was that you" he asked stepping into the room once again, closing the door behind him.

Sebastian looked to Kurt for the briefest second before dropping his embarrassed gaze. "I, umm. I, yes that was, um, yes that was me" he coughed itching the back of his head. "I left the note" he confirmed still avoiding Kurt's gaze. How the hell did people do this over and over again!

Standing just inside the door, Kurt put his hands in his pockets "you. You sent it to me" he asked, avoiding his gaze as he looked around the room, waiting for the joke. "Why" He asked wrapping his arms around himself in a protective manor. Sebastian suddenly had the urge to wrap his arms around this boy and never let him go.

This is the point when he should've said something nice, even honest. To have just told him why he'd left the note, not get on the defensive. "Do I need a reason" he asked defensively, crossing his arms in an aggressive manor.

Kurt looked taken aback and confused and although Sebastian felt bad for making this more complicated than it should've been, he'd panicked. Kurt was looking at him with his beautiful silver eyes and that ridiculously adorable smile. His cheeks were the loveliest shade of red he'd ever seen, and he panicked.

"I bought you this" he gestured towards the present on the piano carelessly, "open it. Or don't, whatever" he shrugged wishing he'd stop be an idiot and say the things he wanted to say. How much he liked Kurt, how much he enjoyed their playful arguments and his company. How he wanted to try for more if he was willing.

But he couldn't. He just couldn't face it. He hadn't thought about it until this very second as Kurt looked between him and his gift. What if Kurt rejected him? What if he didn't want to be anything but friends, what would happen then? He couldn't allow himself to be that vulnerable. Not for Kurt, not for anyone.

He knew he should stay and see if Kurt opens it, to see if he likes it or even for him to be able to say something nice to Kurt. That was why he'd invited him here after all, but no. Sebastian Smythe doesn't do that, he couldn't do that. At least not right now. "I hope you like it. I saw it and thought of you" he shrugged, waving it off.

Avoiding Kurt's gaze at all costs, he took a deep breath as he tried to find his bearings and figure out where to go from here. In a single moment of weakness who looked up, right into Kurt's beautiful steely eyes. It might have only been for a second, but he could see so much in them. Hope, disbelief, nervous and something he didn't know what it was. All in the grey of Kurt's eyes.

So much emotion, too much emotion for one person surely? Well, definitely too much emotion for him. So he'd panicked. "I really hope you like it Kurt" he said as sincerely as he could without sounding like a dick. He really hoped Kurt liked it, he was pretty sure he would. It was beautiful, simple and elegant, just like Kurt.

He knew he should've stayed, said something more than just give Kurt a gift and then leave, but there was too much emotion in Kurt's eyes, it was too overwhelming. All those things Kurt was feeling, they were all because of him and what if he saw something in there he didn't like? Like hatred or amusement? He couldn't handle that.

Staring at the floor for one more second, he decided he knew what he had to do, he had to leave. "Merry Christmas Kurt" he said tiredly compared to the strength in his voice just now.

Right, he'd said as much as he was going to. He would leave now. He'd already eyed the door to the back of the hall and that's exactly where he was heading. Even the sound of Kurt calling his name couldn't make him turn around, no matter how much he wanted too. He just couldn't, it was all too much.

He never found out if Kurt liked his gift or not. Even after everything that happened between that disastrous Christmas meeting to that secret embrace months later, it never came up and he never saw Kurt wearing. But he'd never asked and he would later realise, there was a reason a didn't ask and that was because of the answer.

The answer was uncertain, and that scared him. The answer had the power to break down his walls, the power to make him vulnerable. And Sebastian Smythe would never be vulnerable.

**_-!X!-_**

_- Present Day -_

Running his hands through his hair, Sebastian sighed. He had no idea what he was doing here and why that particular memory had come back to haunt him. That gift, that beautiful piece of jewellery he'd never seen Kurt. The three simple words engraved on the inside of the band, it all came rushing back.

He'd always hoped that one day he and Kurt would have their opportunity. A chance to start over, but now that he was here, he couldn't see it happening. He wanted to do it, he did. But just like 15 years earlier, he had no idea how.

Staring up at this building, Kurt's building, he wanted to go in. He really, really wanted to go in and find Kurt. To tell him everything, but he knew he'd never be able to do or say the right thing. He'd never be good enough for Kurt, no matter what he did. Why would Kurt chose him over anyone else, why should he?

"Umm, hello? Excuse me?" Came a voice he didn't recognise or care to know.

Sebastian rolled his eyes, turning around to whatever nuisance was interrupting him. "Yes" he said, tongue in cheek as he was confronted by a tall man. He'd be lying if he said this man didn't look like a god with his lean figure and dark hair. "What can I do for you?" He asked, crossing his arms in a 'couldn't care less' gesture.

The man narrowed his eyes as he took a drag of his cigarette, such a filthy habit, he thought narrowing his eyes at the cancerous stick. "I haven't seen you around here before" he said thoughtfully, clearly this man thought he knew something and Sebastian didn't like that at all.

"Well that's because I haven't been around here before" Sebastian replied shortly, already bored with this guys conversation.

This guy was staring at him, eyes narrowed in some form of judgement or question, he wasn't all that sure but he didn't like it. "Look" Sebastian said holding his hand up "can I do something for you or do you mind if I go back to thinking about how I've screwed up my life?" He sighed, not even caring that he'd said too much to a stranger.

This guy continued to stand there, smoking his cigarette with eyes narrowed in judgment and consideration. Sebastian was slowly losing his patience. "Look man" Sebastian laughed, trying to be nice. "If you don't want anything from me, can I go?" He asked, he'd leave just to get away from this guy.

The guy didn't respond so Sebastian had settled on giving in and walking away. Grumbling, he rolled his eyes and went to leave. "Hang on a second man" this guy called, forcing him to turn around. "Do you know a Kurt Hummel by any chance?"

That pulled him up short, suddenly this guy was the most interesting person in the world. This guy knew Kurt? "I take it that's a yes" the man laughed, throwing his fag down and putting it out with his foot. "You're the guy from his past?" He asked, sticking out his hand, "I'm Julian. Kurt's friend."

Kurt's friend? Really? Sebastian accepted this guys hand, unsure if he should be jealous or just roll with it for now. "Sebastian" he answered slowly, wondering how this Julian knew who he was.

"Kurt's upstairs on the 89th floor" this Julian guy replied. "He's suffering with one hell of a hangover so I'm taking him out to lunch. He'll be down here in about 15 minutes" he said checking his watch. His tone had been light and kind so it surprised when it turned demanding, "so I suggest you leave" he ordered.

Nobody talks to him like that, especially pretty boys who have no idea what they're talking about. "Excuse me, who the hell are you?" He asked, too loud and too aggressive. He was always on the defensive. Always.

Julian sighed "look Sebastian, I don't want to be rude here. But Kurt came in hanging this morning after your run in yesterday. I've never seen Kurt drunk, let alone give less than 130% on the job" Julian explained.

Kurt was hungover? Kurt drank last night because of him? Because they bumped into each other. He'd made Kurt drink? "What" he asked a little short of breath. His sudden reappearance in Kurt's life had had a huge impact on Kurt? That had to mean something. Right? Good or bad, it had to mean something.

"Look, Seb" Sebastian was taken short with the nickname, who was this guy? "I don't know what happened between you, but it was obviously something very bad and very important. Kurt clearly still cares about you. He's just started trusting again, so don't hurt him again?" This guy asked, pleaded really.

There was no way this guy was just Kurt's friend. He cared about him way too much, friend's don't do stuff like this. "Are you Kurt's boyfriend?" He asked before holding his breath. He didn't get that vibe from him, but Julian was going so far out of his own way to protect Kurt. People never did that, not for friends.

Julian erupted into hysterical laughter. Sebastian hated being laughed at, but he was finally getting somewhere with this Kurt situation. Especially if the jealously and relief in his stomach was anything to by. "No" the man laughed, "I'm not Kurt's boyfriend. I have a girlfriend" he laughed holding up his hand, "fiancé actually."

"Oh" Sebastian said, dropping his gaze and shoving his hand in his pockets. That's one thing right?

"Look Seb, Kurt's going to be down any second" he said looking towards the door before reaching for something in his pocket "Here's my card" he handed over a little business card, "call me and we can meet up and talk, okay? Maybe grab a pint?"

Staring at the business card, but not really looking at it, Sebastian was confused. "Why are you doing this?" His voice was too gentle, too soft and noway near enough aggression. He looked to Julian, completely confused.

Julian smiled "Kurt's done a lot for me man, and he deserves the world. And if you can get him so worked up after a 20 minute run in, I'm pretty sure you're the only one who can give it to him" he said touching his shoulder in a comforting gesture.

Sebastian looked at this guy, standing in front of him all carefree and nice. Julian was smiling at him, a reassuring smile not a pitiful one and he was trying to help Kurt. It was strange to see, no one had ever done anything like this for him. "Thanks man" he replied hoarsely, "Kurt deserves- just thanks" he swallowed.

Julian nodded, "not a problem" he reassured. "I'd do anything for that man, boss or not" he shrugged. "Now look, give me a ring later and we'll grab a beer tomorrow. Alright?" Sebastian nodded, not sure what he'd say otherwise. "Alright" Julian confirmed, saluting him before heading back towards the main entrance.

Sebastian felt like he'd been dismissed and he hated that feeling, but he had to look at all the information he'd received and how he'd felt. He'd felt jealous, relief and worst of all, he'd felt vulnerable. Sebastian Smythe had made himself vulnerable to a man he'd known all of 20 seconds, yet he couldn't with a Kurt, a man he's known the best part of 20 years?

If he'd had chance to dwell on it, he probably would have for hours, but then Kurt appeared. Walking out of the building, phone in one hand and a coffee in the other wearing this beautiful smile. Looking around, he quickly disappeared out of sight watching as Kurt met Julian.

The two sharing a hug before Julian directed him down the street. For a moment he wondered if Julian would say anything about their run in. But from what Sebastian had grasped, Julian would do anything for Kurt, so he was sure Julian wouldn't tell Kurt anything until after their little chat tomorrow.

There's no point making Kurt worry unnecessarily. Not if Julian could end up kicking his ass out of town anyway. Not that he would, but it's still unnecessary worry. Sebastian watched as the two friends laughed and joked their way down the street and he couldn't help but feel a pang of loss and jealously.

Leaning against a lamppost he couldn't help but sigh. Why had he done this to them? How many dinners could they have had in the time they've lost. He doesn't believe in love and soul mates and all that shit, but if he did. Kurt would've been his. He'd known Kurt was special the moment they met at The Lima Bean, but he'd done it all wrong since.

Looking down at the business card in his hand, Sebastian shook his head, laughing for no reason in particular. After running through the thoughts in his head for a few seconds, he turned and left. Home was probably the best place for him right now.


	3. Crossroads

_This is only a short story consisting of 5 Chapters, so we're half way through the story now!_

_I know people responded for a** DD sequel** and I promise you there is a plan for me to start writing. Obviously If I do the sequel I planned, older Mattie and Noah, that means hardly any Klaine which makes nearly everything in that story mine, every single character. That;s a little, nerve wrecking at the moment._

_I've also come up with an idea for an** Anderberry/Klaine fic.** The first chapter is 1,000 words in,_

_I have also started on a **Daddy-Dating One Shot** sort of thing. It's mostly for me because honestly, I'm not ready to say goodbye to that world yet. So when they're complete and ready, I will post them._

_I also feel I should inform you that right now I have just started in **Daddy-Dating: The Sequel! **_

_Fics are coming, just bare with me. I am only human :)_

_Sending you all love,_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee._

* * *

**Personal Time: Crossroads.**

* * *

_- Thursday 23rd January 2016 -_

Sebastian was asleep. That was, he was asleep until his iPhone started vibrating like mad against his bedside table.

Groaning, he rolled over in his bed and reached for his phone, eyes shut really wishing whoever was calling would just stop. "What?" He growled as soon as the phone was at his ear.

"Bas! Hi! How are you?" An overly excited Blaine replied on the line. Sighing he couldn't believe that Blaine was doing this to him. They'd been working together for a few weeks on this TV show and they'd become quite close. He'd never slept with Blaine like he falsely led to Kurt to believe, they were just good friends.

But that didn't explain why Blaine was ringing him, drunk at 2 in the morning. "Blaine, why are you ringing me at half past 2 in the morning" he growled, blinking blearily at the clock on his bed side table. Why was he still up? "What do you want Blaine" he sighed, laying on his back and rubbing at his eyes.

Blaine laughed on the other end, clearly very drunk. Probably another night out with the cast and crew. At least if Blaine was ringing him it meant he'd made it home safe, usually he was the one keeping Blaine standing as they walked back to the flat they shared.

He could hear Blaine stumbling with a lock on the other end and Sebastian remained quiet until his friend had managed to get himself into their apartment and lock the door behind him. "Blaine?" he prompted with a sigh, staring at the ceiling.

"Hmm? Oh yeah! Sebastian Hi man! How did it go with Kurt? Have you expressed just how much you love him yet, I mean surely you have right?!" Blaine said, slurring drunkenly and Sebastian suddenly hated himself for the times he drank too much and told Blaine everything.

It had been a very wild night the first time Blaine had told him about Kurt, well it ended with him booking a flight so maybe even 'wild' is an understatement. "Have you told him how you felt? You know what I told you Bas" Blaine said carefully, even in his drunken state.

So carefully in fact, Sebastian rolled his eyes and felt a little frustrated. "Blaine I'm not delicate, okay" he snapped, clearly over reacting. "I only found Kurt yesterday and like I said in the text B, it didn't exactly go how I planned. But I'm not giving up on him, not this time" he sighed defeated.

He knew Blaine was nodding, probably crawling into bed with his clothes on if the rustling was anything to go by. "Bas, I know you can do this. Kurt and I tried once, but he is still clearly hung up on you, I mean I didn't know it was you, you at the time" he rambled.

Usually he would've saved Blaine the embarrassment, but he wasn't sure what he'd say instead, so. "I mean I knew he was hung up on someone from his past, I just didn't realise that someone was you, not until last week" he explained. "It's kind of weird that we ended up starring in a TV show together with Kurt in common. Dontchathink?"

That made Sebastian laugh, out of all the things Blaine could have thought was weird, he went with that? "Extremely weird" he agreed, laughing at his best friends expense. Blaine had made him feel a little better, "right. I think it's time you hit the hay my friend" Sebastian laughed as Blaine continued talking nonsense about perfect hair or something.

"Yeah okay, okay" Blaine replied around a yawn. "You make sure you tell Kurt okay. He hasn't given up on you yet Bas. That's why it didn't work with us so you make sure you don't give up on him. 'Kay. Kay. Awesome.." and Blaine was out like a light, already snoring.

Sebastian sat up, rubbing at the back of his head "night man. I'll call you tomorrow B" he chuckled. He was a little distracted as he hung up the phone and settled back into bed. He was the reason that Blaine and Kurt hadn't worked? He knew Kurt and Blaine had lived together, knew how Blaine felt about him.

He knew that Blaine had tried with Kurt and for a while he'd reciprocated. The few going on a few dates once Kurt had taken over the company, but Kurt's heart was never in it, so Blaine had vowed they'd be best friends. They moved in together 4 weeks later.

Blaine had given him the lowdown, told him everything he knew about Kurt who was now, but he'd never told him that before. Blaine had never told him the reason they didn't work as a couple was because Kurt was still hung up on someone from his past. Could it really be him? After all these years? Really?

He'd given Kurt every single reason to give up on him. Every reason in the book, and more probably. They hadn't spoken in over 8 years, yet Kurt was still holding on. Kurt still believed in him although he'd given him every reason not too.

Although Sebastian hoped with every fibre in his being, that this was true, that Kurt wasn't holding anything against him, it couldn't be true. Someone as good and as pure as Kurt couldn't possibly be willing to hang on to the smallest possible hope that they would work out eventually.

Kurt deserved more, he knew that. Kurt deserved so much more than he would be able to give him, but was there a chance, even a small chance, that Kurt wanted him anyway. Still hung to the hope that one day they would be okay.

Staring at his wall, his fingers flexing around the emptiness of the left side of his bed, he couldn't help but hope.

* * *

Sat at his breakfast bar, Kurt couldn't help but think about some of the things Julian had said to him at lunch yesterday. At the time he'd just waved him off and told him he had absolutely no idea what he was talking about.

But looking back, what Julian had said made a lot of sense. Although he hated the idea, hate the fact that this man could be the reason none of his relationships have lasted since High School. Hated to even contemplate the idea that he has and always has been in love with Sebastian Smythe and there's nothing he can do about it.

Not one little thing.

Sighing, Kurt mindlessly stirred his coffee, he no longer had a choice and he wasn't sure how he felt about that. They'd had their moment, he'd had his delusion that they were meant for each other, but he was over it. Well, at least he thought he was.

Julian had scoffed when he'd told him that he didn't think about Sebastian like that anymore, he'd scoffed and then burst into hysterics. Kurt wasn't sure how that had made him feel but he let it go, he knew Julian was only trying to help, no matter how much of an ass he'd been.

"Go away McKenzie" Kurt scolded as his loving dog kept jumping up at his seat. He gently pushed him down before checking his watch, he still had another 20 minutes until he had to leave. Sighing Kurt couldn't help but let his thoughts wonder to Sebastian. Where was he now? What was he doing?

Could he already be back on place to LA to go back to filming with Blaine. Oh, shit Blaine! Blaine had text him last night but he'd forgotten to reply. Reaching for his phone he quickly typed out his reply, asking Blaine if he'd ended up having a good night out even though he hadn't want to go out and thanking him for not ringing him at a ridiculous time in the morning.

Texting Blaine wasn't really much of a distraction because it just made him think about Sebastian again. Sebastian who had looked so much older and so much nicer than he had the last time he'd seen him in Ohio nearly 10 years ago. He stood a little taller, kept his hair a little nicer and dressed a lot better.

"Julian's right isn't he" Kurt asked Imogene as she settled on the counter in front of him. Usually she wasn't allowed up here but right now he could really use the company. Sighing Kurt knew he had to accept the inevitable. Julian was right. He'd told Julian everything, every little detail from the past decade and a half.

The little things that made him think of Sebastian. How he never really thought about Sebastian until he reappeared into his life, maybe in person, on TV or even in a magazine from his modelling days. His relationships never worked but he was sure that was nothing to do with Sebastian.

Again Julian had laughed and asked 'are you being serious? in a very patronising tone. He'd ended up using his relationship with Blaine as an example and that had him thinking about Sebastian and not about the failed relationship, he should've realised then really.

"Kurt, you and Blaine were perfect. That boy would've done absolutely anything for you, he followed you around with his puppy dog eyes for months. Only for you to apologise and say you weren't looking for anything serious right now. And then when he said he could do casual, you told him you just weren't interested in dating" he'd scoffed.

Kurt can remember Julian shaking his head at him in disbelief, "Blaine was perfect for you yet you'd ruined that relationship. You'd destroyed it and the chucked Blaine in the friend zone. And there's only one reason for that because I used to see the way you looked at Blaine. You liked him too, but there was always something holding you back. Am I right?"

Kurt had dropped his gaze to his empty plate and had no idea what to say because Julian was right. Blaine was perfect, he'd liked Blaine very much, but he'd ended up destroying the relationship and friend-zoned Blaine so he could still keep him around.

He'd ruined what could have probably been his once chance at happiness and romance, and all for a guy who didn't even understand the words 'happy' or 'romance.' And even as much Kurt hated the idea, there could only be one possible reason for sabotaging what could of been his forever, Blaine wasn't the one.

As much as he hoped that maybe he just had met 'the one' yet, even though he hated the knowledge more than anything in the world, he knew who he was. He knew he'd met 'the one.' He'd met 'the one' back in High School, a very, very long time ago.

Julian was right, Sebastian was it for him. Always had been and for the last 10 years they've been in different towns, different places ignoring each other. It was 10 years they'd lost and now Sebastian was back, well might still be here he wasn't really sure, but what did that mean?

Did it mean that it was their time now? Did it mean although he still held grudges, it was time to let them go, time to forgive and move on. Is this supposed to be their moment? Or are they two people who are destined to be together, but their paths cross in all the wrong places and always miss their chance.

He only really had two choices now. He either forgets everything that happened in the past and tries to give Sebastian a second chance he's not sure he deserves, or he carries on with life as if nothing's changed. Always hoping in the back of his mind that Sebastian will be around the next corner. Always wonder 'what if.'

Even if he didn't want to live with 'what if's' for the rest of his life, was he ready to forgive Sebastian for everything he put him through? Everything he did and said to him? Yes he was just a teenager, but do people really change?

Clearly Kurt was at a crossroad and he just knew, he didn't know how, but he knew that this one decision would impact the rest of his life in a very big way. What if he chose wrong? Or worse, what if he choses right and it doesn't work. What then?

Closing his eyes and pushing out his thoughts Kurt couldn't sit here anymore. He had to get out and breath, had to go somewhere and just stop thinking. Putting on his coat and reaching for his brief case, he decided a quick walk through the park on his way to work was the only option he really had.

Unlike most mornings, he walked to work and listened to the soundtrack of the city as everyone else rushed off to work. Today though, today was different. Today he pulled out his iPod from the pocket of his running coat and put his earphones in. Today the soundtrack of New York wouldn't be enough to distract him from the thoughts he knew would haunt him all day until he fell asleep.

* * *

_- Later that Night -_

"So Sebbo" Julian laughed, "I'm glad you called now what can I do for you?" He asked placing his bottle back on the bar with a smile that was so unnecessary.

Sebastian was already regretting making that phone call. Seriously regretting it. He didn't need any help. "Come on man" Julian said exasperated. Clear that he was also a little frustrated with his lack of conversation, "you wanna make Kurt happy don't ya?"

Staring at this guy, Sebastian wanted to hit him for pushing him so hard, but he was right. So as frustrating as it was, he nodded. He did ring Julian for this reason, to be able to make Kurt happy. "Exactly. So out with it" Julian laughed, picking up his bottle again.

Julian's laugh was so very irritating, Sebastian found his fist clench around his bottle, his anger issues were getting worse the longer he sat here, listening to this ass. Taking a swig he told himself he had to breath, take a deep breath and talk. That was why they were here, that was why he'd called the annoying guy in the first place.

If he wanted to have a chance with Kurt, he had to change. He needed to sort himself out and he couldn't do that alone, even he knew that. "What do you want me to say" he shrugged, he honestly had no idea what he should say or where he should start.

So much had happened between them in the past, what would be relevant to Julian now? "Where should I start, I mean" he said, trying to think back to the few pivotal moments in their relationship. The day they met. The day he gave him that present. The Gay Bar. That moment in Warbler's Hall that ruined everything and that one time they met once they'd left Dalton.

It was all relevant really, but what would help him now. You can't change the past, no matter how much he wished he could, he can't. Nothing can change that. "Well how about from the beginning" Julian said, rolling his eyes, rather dramatically he thought with annoyance.

"Why the beginning! How is going back to the start, going back nearly 15 years ago I might add, how is it going to help me now" he sighed exasperated. He couldn't understand what good it would do him. How would that help him, express to Kurt just how much he loves him and how time and distance hasn't changed that.

Julian dropped his head into his hands, "what Kurt see's in you I have no idea" he said more or so to himself, but he still heard. "You're a hard piece of work" he continued, looking towards him. Julian just watched him for a minute and it made him feel uncomfortable, "actually it makes a lot of sense" he nodded.

Sebastian watched, feeling completely out of the loop and it pissed him off ridiculously. "Look Sebbo, maybe reliving the past isn't the greatest way for us to do this. Why don't you tell me what you want from Kurt, and I'll tell you if you stand a chance? How does that sound?"

Now he was at a crossroad. He could allow Julian to give him the information the easy way, which is what he would've done in High School. Or he could wait. He could wait to hear the words and the decision from Kurt's mouth, in his own words. He wanted to know what Julian knew. He wanted to know what was going on in Kurt's head, but he didn't want to find out if Kurt wanted him like this.

It was easier, yes. But Kurt wasn't easy, he never has been and he knows he wouldn't impress Kurt this way. He didn't want this to be second hand, if he and Kurt were ever going to try, He wanted, he needed to hear Kurt say it. "I don't want you to tell me if he wants.. how he feel's about me" he sighed, "I just want to know that he's okay."

Usually Sebastian wouldn't have done this, he would've demanded Julian give him every piece of information he had on Kurt. Everything that would allow him to woo Kurt on his own. But Kurt wasn't just another person, he was Kurt. And he needed to change and grow up for Kurt and to do that he should start with how he would pursue him.

"What" Julian said taken aback, "you don't want me to tell you what Kurt said about you at lunch yesterday" he asked, almost like a challenge. Like he was challenging him to change his mind, to ask, to know. Like he was trying to gauge just how much Sebastian would do for the man Julian called his best friend.

It was hard, but he shook his head. He did want to know, but he didn't want to find out like this. "I just need to know if Kurt is okay and if me being back in town is a good or a bad thing for him. I don't want to turn his life upside down" he said, nodding to himself.

"If Kurt needs me to leave, I'll go. I'll pack up my bags and I'll leave. If he wants me to stay, I'll call the show and make some changes. Whatever Kurt want's, I'll do it" he admitted brokenly, hating how vulnerable he felt. But he had to keep reminding himself, he needed to grow up, he needed to sort himself out if he was to even have a chance with Kurt.

Julian was silent, probably watching him as he starred behind the bar, just trying to make sense of everything that was happening. Julian and Kurt had talked about him at lunch yesterday, of course Julian could be pulling his leg, but he was sure he wasn't.

It was clear Julian wanted what was best for Kurt, and the fact he was here with him, had agreed to meeting meant more. "I'm sat here with valuable information and you don't want it" Julian asked perplexed. Julian just being here gave him all the information he really needed to know.

If Kurt had talked badly about him yesterday, Julian would've agreed to meet him and as soon as he'd arrived. Julian would've threatened him, told him to get out of town before he'd do something he'd regret. All that usual protective, death threat shit.

But he hadn't. Julian had turned up, bought them both a beer and sat their and waited until he couldn't wait for him anymore. Then he'd prompted him about Kurt and asked him to start talking. That didn't mean Kurt wanted to be with him, but at least it meant Kurt didn't hate him.

Sebastian shook his head, avoiding Julian's gaze. "You really don't want it?" he asked, for what he hoped would be the last time.

"No" he admitted, and man did he feel good for saying it aloud. "No I don't want it" he continued, "it needs to happen between Kurt and I. Now I appreciate your help Julian, but this is something I, something we need to figure out on our own, if it means it takes longer than so be it, but it needs to be done right."

He'd said the words out loud and nothing had ever sounded so right. He was right. He needed to figure out how he felt and so did Kurt. They need to figure this all out on their own, people interfering normally only complicates things more and it means they're less likely not to work. And they need to work.

Julian nodded, reaching for his beer but never made any attempt to say anything. That made him feel a little uncomfortable if he was honest, a little on edge. So what did he do? He downed his beer and asked for another one, "we need to do this. Alone" he repeated, more or so for himself.

He continued to stare at his new beer, wondering why was this man, Kurt Hummel, everything to him. "You're a stronger man than I am Seb" Julian said squeezing his shoulder, "I'd need to know."

Sebastian scoffed, great. Thanks! Because that was exactly not what he needed to hear, "Jeez thanks man!"

"You know what I mean Sebbo! It just means you're a better person than I am" Julian said smiling, one that wasn't as much as a smirk as it had been earlier. "It means you're the right person" he smiled kindly and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. Or what he meant.

He kind of didn't really want to know what he meant either. He was already a bucketful of emotion right now, he couldn't add any more to his load so he decided to let it go. It appeared Julian handn't planned on saying anything else anyway. Instead he quickly jotted something down on a napkin before he stood up.

"Look I've got to run Seb" Julian smiled, apologising as he stood and put on his jacket. "The fiancé is getting on my case about wedding plans and I said I'd be back by 9 to discuss flower arrangements" he said rolling his eyes. Sebastian certainly didn't envy him, although he had to wonder what colours would Kurt pick.

Sebastian continued to stare at the bottle between his fingers, nodding his understanding. At least Julian had helped him come to a realisation, though it hadn't really helped him in the long run. Especially now that he was sat here wondering if he and Kurt would ever have to make plans to discuss the organisation of their wedding.

"For what it's worth Seb," Julian said leaning very close and speaking very quietly it made him uncomfortable, "don't go anywhere" he smiled. Sebastian didn't make a move to turn, didn't even allow himself to smile as Julian moved the napkin across the bar top until it was positioned in front of him.

As soon as he was sure Julian had left the bar, he couldn't stop the grin that appeared as he picked up the napkin Julian had left him,. Of course he didn't see Julian peering at him through the window, but Julian just needed to confirm his suspicions.

Looking at the messy handwriting of his new found friend, Sebastian couldn't grin bigger if he'd tried. Julian had left him Kurt's mobile number. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do now. But for now, no one would need to know how much that one comment meant to him, how happy it made him.

Julian hadn't told him anything he hadn't wanted to hear. He'd just answered his question and at the end of it all, that was all he'd wanted. An answer. He wanted Kurt and would chase him forever, but only if Kurt wanted to be chased. Now, he wasn't really sure if Kurt wanted to be chased by him, he still had some figuring out to do. But at least for now, he knew he had to stay.

He knew he had to stay and now he had a way to contact Kurt, not to just turn up at his work and make things even more awkward than they needed to be. Kurt didn't want him to go anywhere, that was enough for right now.

That fact made him feel great, giddy even. It also made him feel ridiculous, sad, vulnerable and very, very unlike himself. As he starred at the napkin in his hand, his stomach started to get all tingly and weird. It was uncomfortable and completely brand new.

And when Sebastian was uncomfortable with his feelings, he drank. Sighing but still smiling, he motioned the bar tender for two shots of whiskey. He was about to get very, very drunk.

_- Friday 24th January 2016 __-_

The day ended the same way it had started. A phone call that came too early in the morning between two friends. "Sebastian what can I do for you" Blaine sighed as he answered the phone, surprised. "It's like what, half 2 in the morning" he laughed, "is this payback?"

Blaine's laugh made him feel like he was being hit over the head with a very large hammer. Why was he talking to Blaine anyway? "I take it you've only just got home" Blaine continued to laugh and Sebastian just wanted to hit him, for no real reason other than his head hurt.

"Will you please. Stop laughing" he growled as he locked his apartment door behind him. "What the hell do you want anyway" he grumbled.

It was bad enough Blaine rang him this morning, why was he ringing him again now? "Seb! You rang me you ass, how much have you had to drink?" Blaine laughed. Again.

Seriously, if he didn't stop laughing. "Blaine. Will you please stop laughing or I'm going to hit you" he growled chucking his keys on the table, they slid off and fell to the floor. Before slowly climbing his way up the stairs and collapsing onto his bed.

Blaine waited for him to speak as the silence dragged on. Considering it was half one in the morning for Blaine, he sure as hell seemed awake. "Why are you up and so happy" he demanded. There was silence and he kind of wished Blaine had hung up without him realising.

No such luck. "We're filming" Blaine answered with a smile. "A scene that you should've been in I might add" he joked and even drunk, Sebastian had to admit he felt guilty. He and Blaine were the stars of the show, he should be there.

Shaking his head, it hurt like hell, how much had he drunk! "I should be there" he slurred, "I mean I'm leaving you to hold the fort only 3, 6, some episodes in!" he dismissed, waving at his very large and very empty room.

Even as he stared at the boring blue of his sheets, he knew Blaine was shaking his head. "Look Seb, your characters had to return home due to a sister you never were meant to have's death, so don't worry. You've got time" he reassured though Sebastian wasn't really listening even though he was really trying.

His head hurt, really hurt. He could hear the words Blaine was saying, but none of them really made any sense. Why was he talking to Blaine again?

"You deserve to take this time Seb, and I'm assuming Kurt is the reason you're ringing" he chuckled, softer this time for which he was grateful. Kurt! Oh Kurt! "Out with it you" Blaine prompted in his silence.

Kurt! His Kurt! The Kurt! Kurt wanted him to stay. He didn't want him to go anywhere. That had to mean something, right. Right?! "Kurt wants me to stay" he mumbled into his duvet, not really noticing how his words could be taken.

"Oh my God! You talked to him" Blaine shouted his excitement. Sebastian could tell everyone around was staring at Blaine as he ignored them all. "He told you he wants you to stay! Sebastian that's great-" he continued to yell.

"No, no no" he interrupted shaking his head so hard his ears started to ring, "no." That's not what it meant, that's not what happened. He wished that's what it meant, but no. Not that. "No."

Sebastian was shaking his head and trying to kick off his shoes, this wasn't usually that hard. "No what? What do you mean no? Sebastian! How much have you had to drink?!" No reply. "Sebastian, did you speak to Kurt or his friend Julian?"

How'd Blaine know about Julian. "Julian" he answered around a yawn, trying to remember why he was still on the phone. "I'm sleepy. Night Blainey" he yawned, wishing he wasn't alone this evening.

He could hear Blaine's smile and concern in his voice as well as disappointment for not getting the whole story, "okay buddy. Sleep well and ring me first thing in the morning, okay?" When he didn't reply, Blaine promoted, "okay Sebastian?"

"What? Oh, yes. Okay. I'll ring you tomorrow" he yawned. "Night Blainers." He'd barely had time to hang up before he'd fallen asleep, lying across his bed one shoe on and one shoe off. Clutching at the picture of him and Kurt, having no idea when he'd picked it up.

At least this way now, drunk or not. He knew he had to stay.

* * *

At 1:28am Kurt's phone vibrated from where it was set up on his bed side table next to an old, wooden photo frame. Kurt shifted in his sleep, disrupting Imogene as he tossed and rolled over to his left. His screen blinked an unknown number with a message that barely looked english.


	4. The Middle Man

_Sorry posting has been so delayed!_

_I've finally started working on the __sequel to Daddy-Dating! Not only that but I'm also prepping 'Big Brother' for publishing! So I've been a little stretched for time!_

_Enjoy! :)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Glee_

* * *

**Personal Time: The Middle Man.**

* * *

_- Friday 24th January 2016 -_

After waking up a little before his alarm, Kurt headed straight to the shower, leaving Imogene and Mackenzie to take over his bed. He'd had a great night's sleep and was glad he hadn't ended the night under the influence of alcohol like he had the previous 3 nights.

Yesterday had been a roller coaster of emotion, he'd come to a conclusion. He hated said conclusion, it made him seem like some masochist, but none the less, he'd made the decision. He'd begrudgingly accepted how he felt about Sebastian, it was the same as he'd felt back in High School and now he knew his feelings would never change.

But, if he wanted to do something about it, what could he do? Sebastian was somewhere and he had no way to contact him, if he wanted too. Maybe he was in LA, maybe he was still in New York hoping Kurt would give him the time of day. Maybe he was hoping Kurt would reach out to him, give him the chance to say whatever it is he wanted to say.

Whatever it was, he had no idea what Sebastian was doing or thinking and it was probably one of the most frustrating things about this entire situation. He never knew what Sebastian was thinking, never had been able to. That was the problem. Well, one of many.

Then there was the issue of actually contacting the asshole, they'd never exchanged numbers or address, or pleasantries for that matter. It was always sass and attitude.

He'd spoken to Blaine yesterday, when he got home he gave him a ring. Tired of the thoughts in his head and thought it'd be nice to speak to his friend, and if he just happened to be Sebastian's co-star, well what was he to do. Of course he'd tried to be subtle when brining up Sebastian, but Blaine wasn't saying much on the subject.

Blaine had avoided talking about him, well at least he'd tried. Blaine had never really thought about what he said before he said it. So as he filled Kurt in on the set life and the current, updating of the script that needed editing suddenly, Kurt may of been a little too interested which only got Blaine talking more.

It was mean using Blaine this way, but he needed a distraction as well as a confirmation and Blaine was the only one who could provide that right now. Talking to Blaine he'd managed to find out that Sebastian had been written out of the next 2 episodes because he'd left suddenly last week declaring he needed some personal time.

Sebastian's character had been written out of the show to deal with the death of a family member his character never had. Kurt was surprised they were willing to do that for him, most companies would just cut the actor loose, especially so early in the series. Sebastian must have been quite the little actor.

Blaine hung up, declaring he had scenes to film and Kurt was left more confused than ever. Sebastian was taking personal time, personal time that had led him to New York and Kurt could help but wonder, was he here for him? He thought it was, but why would he be. What did Sebastian want from him?

He could only assume, and hope deep, deep down that it was something to do with the thought's that had been plaguing him for the past week. Every since Sebastian's sudden arrival in the city. Sebastian was in New York, had left his job behind to come and see him. But why? What had changed? Why now?

These were all the thoughts Kurt processed in the shower, still coming up empty for conclusions. He'd showered quickly, wanting to get the thoughts out of his head. Could he not have one minute of peace now that Sebastian was back? Could he not have one minute of thought that wasn't loaded with questions, feelings and confusions? Just one.

Shutting the shower off, he reached for his towel walking back to his room. If Sebastian was here because he was, it didn't make any sense. If that was the case, why hadn't he tried to contact him since Times Square? Sebastian had the advantage here, he had no way to contact Sebastian.

The ball was in Sebastian's court because even if he wanted to, there was nothing he could do. Sebastian knew where he worked, it wouldn't be hard to pop in and ask reception where he was. They'd soon direct him to his office and it wouldn't take more that 10 minutes.

What did it mean that he hadn't looked for him? Or could it mean more that he could have? OR was he giving too much credit. Towel drying his hair Kurt sighed walking into his closet, picking out his favourite suit, he just couldn't figure Sebastian out. Never had been able too really.

It had been the same all those years ago.

_- Dalton Academy, Warbler Hall: May 18th 2004 -_

"Sebastian, why are you bringing me here" a 13 year old Kurt laughed as he allowed Sebastian to pull him through the doors to Warbler Hall. A place they'd only vacated 15 minutes ago.

Sebastian laughed in response but didn't say anything, instead he'd pulled him into the centre of the room and smiled before running to shut the doors behind them. Kurt watched as the boy frantically ran to shut them inside, usually he would be nervous and distrusting, but never with Sebastian. Instead he just felt curious.

Kurt watched as Sebastian stopped in front of him and simply watched him and smiled. He'd be lying if it didn't make him feel a little uncomfortable, and send his heart into a complete and utter mess, but no one needed to know about that. "Sebastian, what are we doing here" he asked, smiling hesitantly.

They'd been going out for coffee and to the cinema for weeks now, always as 'just friends' of course. Kurt was beginning to think that's all Sebastian thought they were, it wouldn't be anything unusual if his feelings were all one-sided. But there were moments during their get togethers that made him think maybe, just maybe Sebastian liked him too.

He could remember the numerous times he'd caught Sebastian staring at his lips, or watching him laugh out of the corner of his eye. Kurt thought he knew what this all meant, but this was Sebastian. He could never be sure, never knew what he was thinking. Sebastian wasn't like anyone he'd ever met.

Then there had been that time Sebastian had given him a Christmas present at the end of the year, friends didn't make a big deal out of it. And friends didn't buy their friends jewellery, at least not a very pretty and obviously expensive ring. What his intentions were for buying it, he never knew as he never brought it up. Sebastian didn't, so he didn't.

He was sure it meant something but he preferred not to get his hopes up. He'd been disappointed one too many times and he wasn't willing to let himself feel that way again. He and Sebastian were friends and he was okay with that for now. Maybe one day he'd get tired of going in circles, but for now it was okay.

Sebastian shrugged, "I just wanted to see you that was all" he grinned. The sight of him made Kurt's skin shiver, he was the most beautiful boy he'd ever seen. "That's okay isn't it" he'd asked, sounding as vulnerable as he did when he face him his present.

"Of course it's okay" he exclaimed, probably too loudly considering they were the only ones here,and he had to remind himself they were just friends. "But you know you can see me anytime, right" he asked as Sebastian looked at his feet, "you know I'll be there whenever you need me, no matter what."

Sebastian's gaze jumped back to him then and Kurt felt his whole body stiffen, he'd said too much hadn't he? He wasn't really sure how, he hadn't really said anything. But he knew Sebastian's past, so maybe this was too much for Sebastian. "Really?" he'd asked sceptically, his eyes full of hope. "You mean that?"

Kurt nodded, a little pained to see how distrusting Sebastian was, though he couldn't say much. It took years for Kurt to completely trust someone, well everyone that wasn't Sebastian. "Of course I would. I'd do absolutely anything for you" he admitted, holding Sebastain's gaze, already knowing he'd really said too much.

He was pushing the boundaries of their 'just friends' relationship. He knew he was crossing the line, but he didn't really seem to mind. Sebastian hadn't run out of the room screaming yet, which he'd seen him do before back in their first year, so he took that as a win.

Sebastian was still here and he took that as a good sign to continue. "I think I've been pretty obvious about how I feel about you Bas, and I'm just telling you now. I'd do absolutely anything for you Sebastian, just say the word" he smiled not caring how much he was putting himself on the line.

He'd never felt more vulnerable, but he knew sometimes you have to make yourself vulnerable in order for the other person to know how much you care. And he'd done that. Sebastian was smiling faintly at him, and he knew. He looked scared and nervous but at least he was still here.

Sebastian dropped his gaze and Kurt felt his heart sink in his chest, but at least he knew. He knew if his pursuit was worth it or pointless, and it looked like he had his answer. It wasn't the answer he was hoping for, but it was an answer none the less. "You don't have to say anything" he smiled no matter how much it hurt, "I just wanted you to know" he nodded.

He smiled at Sebastian who was still staring at the ground. Holding his head high he turned to leave, he just needed a few minutes alone to process this. Sebastian may have wanted to spend some time with him and he may have ruined that, but at least he knew where he stood now.

He had his hand on the door, and just like last time, he expected Sebastian to let him leave. But he didn't. "Kurt, wait" he called holding his hand up, poised as if he were ready to run to him if he continued to leave.

But he didn't. He turned to face Sebastian, hoping he wasn't about to ask something stupid like could they still be friends, of course they would still be friends. He'd take whatever he can get. He just needed some time. "Yeah Sebastian?" he asked, a little shaky as he held the door open.

It took Sebastian a moment but eventually he held his gaze again, smiling a little brighter now. "Can you come back here please" he'd asked ever so quietly. Almost as if he was afraid to ask.

Kurt narrowed his eyes in confusion but did what Sebastian asked, he always would. Closing the door behind him, he made his way to the centre of the room, stopping in front of Sebastian who stood watching him, smiling with a look in his eyes he'd never seen.

The seconds passed by and Sebastian made no attempt to say anything. Kurt was a patient person, but right now after having his heart ripped out of his chest, he just wanted to be alone. He was about to ask Sebastian if he was going to say anything or if he could leave, but he never got the chance.

It happened so quick, Kurt had no time to react. Sebastian's arms were ow rapped tightly around him like a vice. Their chests crushed against each others as Sebastian held him as tight as he possibly could. "I'd do anything for you too" Sebastian had breathed, so quietly Kurt wasn't sure he was supposed to hear it.

Sebastian had completely taken him by surprise and it took a second for everything to catch up to him. Sebastian was holding him in his arms, crushing him against his chest and holding on as tight as he could. Why aren't you hugging back!? When his head caught up he wrapped his arms around the boy he'd been fawning over for months.

His heart was beating ridiculously fast and Kurt knew he was blushing, but he didn't care. Sebastian was holding him close, he was wrapped in an embrace with a boy he thought would never give him the opportunity. Breathing deeply, Kurt pushed himself a little closer, smiling when Sebastian only held him tighter.

Kurt couldn't believe this was happening. Sebastian might not have said anything, but he didn't have to. Sebastian hadn't run and he'd asked him to come back, that was all he needed. He might not know where they will go from here, but at least he knew he wasn't alone in whatever complicated feelings they shared.

That would be enough to get them through whatever the future held, he knew it. He didn't know how, but he knew Sebastian was special. He knew that no matter what, he and Sebastian were going to be a part of each others lives. But more than that, he knew he was going to love this man forever. He didn't know how, he couldn't explain it, he just knew.

Sebastian took a deep breath and Kurt loved that he could feel every move he made, every breath. He felt closer to this boy then he ever had before and he never wanted to lose that. "Kurt" Sebastian breathed, his breath tickling his ear and the word rang like music in his ears. He'd never heard his name said like that before and it mad egis skin tingle.

Kurt didn't know what to say, didn't know if there was anything really to say. Sebastian was holding him in his arms and that was all that really mattered. He felt warm and safe. Sebastian didn't need to say anything else. "Bas" he smiled into the other boys neck, tucking his head under the taller boys chin.

He may have imagined Sebastian shiver, but he was pretty sure it was real. Smiling, he held the older boy close and wished he could hold onto this perfect moment forever.

But of course Kurt's perfect moment wouldn't last.

The double doors flew open and both boys heads turned to see who was interrupting their moment. It had taken Sebastian all of 0.1 seconds to realise The Dalton Footballers had walked in and to push Kurt as far away from him as was possible.

To say it had hurt would be an understatement, he'd never felt so rejected in his entire life. Of course he never let his thoughts or feelings show on his face, he knew better than that by now. Why would Sebastian do that? He understood Sebastian had problems and worries, but was there really any need to be so cruel.

"Hey Seb! There you are" called Karofsky, one of the nastier football players who'd had it out for Kurt ever since he first transferred here. "What you doing in here with this" he said gesturing towards him, leaving his sentence unfinished. As if he had no reason to finish, everybody knew what he meant.

Kurt ignored the jibe, like he always did and shoved his hands back in his pockets. He was about to say to Sebastian that they should leave. But Sebastian beat him to it, and he wasn't thinking the same thing. Sebastian had laughed, "oh you know how it is. I got stuck with this high pitched know-it-all for Warbler practice" he said running his hands through his hair, completely avoiding his gaze.

"Well come on then, that's leave this little fairy prince to it" Karofsky remarked, holding the ball under one arm and gesturing for Sebastian to follow with the other.

He didn't understand, couldn't understand. Why was Sebastian doing this? He thought that maybe, after just now, Sebastian liked him too? But clearly his reputation with his football buddies was a lot more important. Dropping his gaze to the floor, he tried to fight the tears, Sebastian obviously wasn't worth it.

Kurt felt like he'd been stabbed in the chest. The pain that ran through him as Sebastian walked away without a second glance, it was like nothing he'd ever experienced. It was excruciating.

As soon as he'd found his moment of happiness. As soon as he thought, maybe just maybe he'd get his chance at a happy ever after. It was ripped from him by a bunch of homophobic assholes and a guy that clearly wasn't worth anything. No matter how he made him feel.

He was glad one of the Neanderthals had closed the door on his way out. At least for now he had another 20 minutes to compose himself. But for the next 5 minutes he let himself cry, he let himself be sad, but after that he would never shed a tear over Sebastian Smythe again.

15 minutes.

_- Present Day -_

Kurt was about to leave for work when he realised he didn't have his phone. He quickly ran back to his room and picked up his phone. He was going to shove it in his pocket when a text message came through causing his phone to vibrate. But as Rachel's new message popped up on his home screen, so did a message from Blaine and an unknown number.

Narrowing his eyes at his phone, he unlocked it, quickly thumbing past the messages from Blaine and Rachel so he could look at the unknown number. If it was a wrong number, those were hilarious. Or it could be another sales text, how they got his number he had no idea.

However, as he opened the message and attempted to read it he realised it was no wrong number, it wasn't a sales text. It was something completely different.

**From +4463 456 679:**

Heru! Ii doonng nooo wjat ro dp nowe. Yuoii waamt ne toi stayy. I wNnnt mee to stay toooo. Kurtt pkease? Firgibe me. Seevvvv. XxzxXx

To say Kurt's breath caught in his throat would be another understatement. All the breath in his lungs seemed to have disappeared, breathing seemed impossible right now. Was that? Could that be.. Had Sebastian sent him that message? He knew the message was for him, and who would be texting him who's number he didn't already have.

Staring at the message, he couldn't explain it but he knew Sebastian had sent that message. He had no idea how Sebastian had gotten his number, but somehow he had and he must've got very drunk last night. It looked like Sebastian wasn't dealing with their 'reunion' all that well either.

As much as he wanted to call in sick and sit here and deconstruct this text, try and figure out the reasons behind it and what Sebastian was trying to say, he couldn't. He had a job to do and a company to run. So he slipped his phone into his pocket, his 2 unread messages going forgotten. Walking out of his apartment without a second glance, he groaned, he couldn't do this right now.

All he had to do was get through today and then he'd have his 3 day weekend to think everything through. If that meant he didn't leave his house for 3 days then so be it. He would figure this all out, just not today.

Once on the streets of the city Kurt pulled out his iPod. It looked like today was going to be another one of those days when the city just wasn't enough to distract him. Sighing, Kurt put in his earphones and prepared himself for another long day at the office.

* * *

Sebastian woke up at half past 11, clutching a wooden frame against his chest, one shoe on and one shoe of as half his body hung off the end of his bed. The sun beamed through his open curtains, making his eyes burn the moment he'd opened them. Clearly it had been a rough night.

Keeping his eyes closed he took a few deep breathes to try and will away the pain in his head. He lost track of how long he'd stayed there, maybe he'd even fallen asleep again but when he finally forced himself up, he hurt everywhere. His back hurt, his foot hurt but more than most, his head. He'd had hangovers before, sure. But never like this.

Sitting up he forced himself to open his eyes, to take in the near afternoon sun and to wake up. Rubbing at his eyes they felt wet and puffy, but that didn't make any sense, he hadn't been crying last night. Shaking off the thought, he forced himself to get out of bed and to shower, he felt gross.

He shook his head for no reason in particular, already regretting the decision as his ears rang as he stood, also regretting his decision to get so drunk. Sebastian's phone lay amongst his bed sheets. Locked off course, but once opened would lead Sebastian to see just how much he should regret last night.

After showering, he felt cleaner but not better. His head still hurt like hell and there was a ringing in his ears that he couldn't shake. Half dressed in a pair of sweatpants he wondered into the kitchen to make himself a bacon and egg sandwich and a cup of coffee. He couldn't do anything about his head, but he could deal with his stomach.

The napkin lay upside down on the counter, Sebastian not even giving it a second glance as he pottered around. There were so many things he should be thinking about, he really he should start putting two and two together. Maybe even come up with some sort of plan, but he couldn't deal with anything at the moment.

He'd dealt with too many emotions and feelings over the last few days. So instead of thinking about anything important, he collapsed on the sofa and turned on the TV to some cheesy day time show. It may be a load of rubbish, but at least it was the perfect distraction.

At least that was what he'd hoped, of course he hand't planned on his phone join going off in his bedroom, the ring tone indicating Blaine was the one ringing him. Sighing, he forced himself to go and fetch his phone felling kind of annoyed at Blaine's calling. He just needed some time, was that too much to ask?

"What can I do for you Blaine" he asked, monotone as he sat back on the sofa. He really couldn't be bothered to hold a proper conversation, it hurt too much. Reaching for the pot of aspirin on the table he took a mouthful of his coffee and swallowed.

He almost chocked on the second tablet she Blaine yelled into the phone. "Dude what the hell!I tell you to ring me in the morning and I hear nada. NADA! Then when I ring you, you almost let it go to answer phone. Dude! You can't do this to me" he scolded, barely taking a breath.

Sebastian narrowed his eyes at the TV in confusion, when had he spoken to Blaine to have agreed to ring him in the morning. As the silence wore on he figured Blaine was putting two and two together, "you don't remember do you?"

He shook his head knowing that Blaine would know. He knew him well enough. "Oh Seb" Blaine said pitifully. "I knew you had a lot to drink last night, but seriously. Why do you always drink yourself stupid when anything real happens" Blaine sighed and Sebastian knew he would've dropped his head into his hands.

He was so very confused, nothing had happened last night. "Blainers, what you talking about? I met Julian at the bar, got way too drunk and fell asleep. I wouldn't say-"

"Oh Sebastian stop with all this bullshit okay" Blaine snapped, taking him by surprise. "I'm you best friend! You know I see through all this fake bravado shit" he commented bitterly and he didn't really know what to say to that.

It's not like he did it on purpose, it's just his go-to state whenever he's scared. "Sorry" he mumbled, even with the hangover from hell he felt bad for making Blaine angry. He'd only known Blaine for about 8 months, but that man was the only person he could count on his life. He didn't have anyone else, just Blaine. "I don't-"

"I know you don't Seb, sorry for snapping at you" Blaine breathed, "but you need to stop doing this to yourself Sebastian. Kurt is real, this is real you can't run away from this. Especially considering you ran to him" Blaine spoke quietly, almost as if he was afraid.

Afraid of what Sebastian wasn't sure and if he was honest he didn't want to know. "I'm not running away from anything" he tried to defend himself. He may not have any recollection of what happened last night, but he knew that he had been running. Had been avoiding whatever it was that happened, otherwise he would remember.

Blaine sighed and Sebastian just wanted to go back to bed. "You rang me last night at half past 2" Blaine started, and he dropped his head in his hands, preparing for the story he was sure to hate. "You were very wasted" he laughed, "You'd thought I'd rang and you kept telling me to stop laughing."

No surprise there he thought shaking his head. "You rang me about Kurt" Blaine continued after a beat of silence, Kurt? "You didn't really say much, just the words 'Kurt wants me to stay. There was more, but you said you were tired and then proceeded to pass out" he finished quietly, clearly unsure if telling him this was a good decision.

At first Blaine's words didn't make any sense, he couldn't understand them. "I rang you about Kurt last night?" he asked puzzled, he must have gotten somewhere with Julian then?

"Yeah, you also mentioned in passing mumbles that Julian gave you Kurt's mobile number" Blaine answered. At his words it was almost like time had frozen in the worst possible way.

He did remember Julian giving him Kurt's number. Now that Blaine mentioned it he even remembered typing the number into his phone and adding it to his contacts, but that wasn't all he'd done. "Oh shit" he breathed, he didn't did he?

"What" Blaine said, panicked. "Sebastian what's the matter?" He could hear Blaine, but was too busy trying to convince himself that he hadn't done what he thought he had. "Sebastian! Stop being a dick and answer me" his friend demanded.

Letting out a deep breath, he wished the sofa would swallow him whole, "I text Kurt last night" he answered, his tone void of emotion as he closed his eyes, wishing this wasn't his life.

He was answered with an audible gasp and murmurs of concern before "you text Kurt? Last night? While you were that drunk?" After each questioned he nodded and Blaine continued. "What did you say" he gasped and Sebastian wish he knew.

"I have no idea" he mumbled, shaking his head. "I'll check my phone when I get off, but if I was that drunk it can't be good" he sighed. Maybe he'd get lucky and Kurt wouldn't be able to tell who sent the message, deep down he was positive he remembered typing out his name, well trying to at least "oh god."

He was such an idiot, Blaine was right. He really needed to stop turning to alcohol when things in his life got bad or real. Otherwise one day he's going to wake up and 20 years have passed and he wouldn't remember anything. All memories washed away by too much alcohol. "You said something about Kurt wanted me to stay" he asked after the silence became too much.

"Oh um" Blaine said, shaking his head and pulling himself out of whatever thoughts he was lost in. "I don't know Seb, you told me that Kurt wanted you to stay, and when I asked if you'd spoken to him you'd told me no, just Julian" he knew Blaine shrugged as he probably walked around the Paramount lot. "Any ideas?"

Any ideas? What a good question. Closing his eyes, he forced himself to think, to really think about what had happened between him and Julian last night. What had been said to make him get so drunk? And then it all came flooding back, Julian's words. How happy his words had made him, it all came flooding back.

"Julian offered to tell me what Kurt had said about me at dinner the day before" he thought out loud, flipping through his memories to try and drag out some specifics. "But I told him I didn't want to know."

"What!? Why?" Blaine interjected, "Sebastian that's really useful information! Why didn't you let him tell you?"

He didn't really want to tell Blaine, what if he would think he was just being stupid? What if he didn't understand? Regardless really, if Blaine didn't understand, Sebastian knew he'd at least try to. "I don't know, I guess. If Kurt and I were to ever have a chance at anything, I'd rather hear it from him" he shrugged, "That's all."

"I told him all I needed to know from him was if Kurt was okay and if my being here was a good or bad thing for Kurt's life" he continued. A little surprised at himself for going about the situation that way, it was so unlike him. "I remember asking him if I should stay or go, I just needed the word and I'd do whatever Kurt needed" he admitted a little sadly. Julian probably thought he was a complete and utter wuss.

The silence was deadly, at least it was to Sebastian. Why wasn't he saying anything? When he prompted Blaine, he just laughed a little. "I'm so proud of you Seb, that's a really grown up decision" Blaine said grinning and Sebastian had to admit he felt relieved. And a little giddy, it had been a grown up decision hadn't it?

"I think Julian said something like that too" he said thinking back to his memories through a blurry haze, "then he left. But he gave me Kurt's number" he said narrowing his eyes in the direction of the counter where he'd seen the napkin. "Then he told me I should stay and then he went off to plan his wedding" he finished.

A little relieved to have figured out the important part of the night, the rest of the night had been spent drinking shot after shot before the bar tender had called him a cab and sent him on his way. "So, you're to stay" Blaine repeated, "what now?"

"Damage control I guess" he shrugged staring at his hand.

With a promise to forward the message he sent to Kurt, Blaine hung up twenty minutes later. Finally getting back to the job they both should be doing. Slowly, he clicked his way through his phone until he came to his inbox. There was Kurt's number, right at the top of his inbox. He could only see one sentence and it already looked bad.

Once the message was open he decided he was never going to drink again. How was he supposed to explain that to Kurt, and of course Kurt would know who it was, he'd know the moment the unknown number popped up on his phone. Without a doubt, Kurt would know and had already seen it.

Kurt had already seen it! He must have, he's a busy guy, of course he has. And he hadn't replied, what did that mean? He didn't really have any idea what it meant, but he knew it was bad and he knew he needed to come up with some brilliant and fast,

Honestly, he had no idea what to do but he knew he seriously needed to do some damage control. After forwarding the message to Blaine he took a minute to think through the complicated and confusing thoughts in his head.

Half an hour later he realised he only really had one option now. The ball was in his court, had been since he'd arrived in New York. He needed to do something big and romantic and soon. It was finally his time to make his move.

* * *

**To Kurt:** I'll be waiting at the Alice in Wonderland Statue in Central Park tomorrow night at 8pm. I'll be there for one hour. It would be great to see you, but if you don't turn up. I understand. - Sebastian x

* * *

**Until next time,**

**JCMO xx**


End file.
